When I was 14 and younger, I had a big problem…
I couldn’t make friends.
I was a nerd, a teacher’s pet, you name it! I was that kind of kid you’d call, “Dull”. I couldn’t keep a conversation with one person… let’s not even talk about participating in a lively conversation with a group.
There was an exception though. If we’d known each other for a long time, I was anything but the dull boy everyone knew me as.
Most of us can relate today. Do you…
Like keeping to yourself even though you wished so badly you could join in conversations of interest;
Fret whenever you’re asked to speak in front of a crowd;
Just not know how to keep a conversation from turning awkward?
Well… luck found you, today. I’ll be sharing some tips that’ll help you transform into a powerful conversation starter for the rest of your days.
Today, I am a public speaker and have spoken to very large audiences since the age of 15 to present, both for motivational and educational purposes.
What changed?
Here are some tips that helped me:
Approach with Confidence: Now, I just want to let you know something. If you’re anything like I was, then you like to tell yourself the most negative things that could go wrong when you approach a member of the same gender or, worse still, the opposite gender. Scratch that out, that mindset. Clear your head, organise your thoughts, and smile cuz people just see you as way cuter/handsome when you do that — you don’t work in a mortuary to be so stone-faced. I repeat, you don’t work in a mortuary!
A Friendly Greeting: This is everything. It most often works well with open-ended questions that do more than give you a “yes” or “no” reply. How do people your age greet one another? For boys, you can start with something like, “Yo, bro. What’s up? How d’you do?” (It most often goes with a handshake.) For girls, this shouldn’t be bad, “Hi. How’re you?” Cuz girls don’t see any reason to say otherwise. A boring gender, but they do their thing. If you’re offended, fight me when you see me. Nevertheless, DO NOT FORGET TO SHAKE HANDS!
Establish Common Grounds: This is me saying you should BE OBSERVANT. Before approaching, what did you notice about the person? It can range from hairstyle to an activity the person is doing. For example, girls can say things like, “OMG, you like BTS too?” when you notice the other party watching a BTS reel that you enjoy too. That’s gross by the way, but it’s a girls thing. For boys, you notice a guy is watching football scores or maybe has his hair fried or something — you freaking know what to say! That’s establishing a common ground. Remember, be observant.
Show Genuine Interest: Yup. Ask them questions about themselves. “What high school did you attend?/ Have you watched the latest movie out?/ A girl like you looks like she has siblings, am I right? Which one are you, first or last?/ Did you really understand what was taught in Maths? Please, show me how you did it so effortlessly.” Ah, ah, before I forget… compliments go a long way, as long as they’re appropriate. Don’t embarrass anyone by hyping them. Understand? Cool.
Introduce Yourself: I don’t flow too well with “mysterious” people. Even if you don’t tell me where you’re from, at least be willing to take the initiative of talking about yourself!
Remember, the key is to be authentic and to be genuinely interested in the other person. If the person you’re trying to create a conversation with notices that you don’t really want to get to know him/her better… well, I guess you know how that goes.
Building rapport takes time, so don’t rush it, fam. Be open, positive and ADAPTIVE, and you’ll likely enjoy meaningful interactions.
Why Being Social Matters
Beings social helps guarantee your…
1. Emotional well-being
2. Mental stimulation
3. Expanded perspectives
4. Enhanced communication skills
5. Support system
6. Increased empathy
7. Stress reduction
8. Professional networking
9. Improved self-esteem
10. Opportunities for personal growth.
Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this, feel free to reply this mail telling me exactly what you enjoyed. Mails like that are very encouraging to me.
Also, feel free to…
This was very helpful.
Thanks bro 😊